


Mando Porn

by Batsy7



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28237341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batsy7/pseuds/Batsy7
Summary: The Mandalorian has recently received many private missions. But the content is a little bit weird.Just for fun, no logic in this story.
Relationships: Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda, Din Djarin/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	Mando Porn

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [【曼达洛人】被盗窃形象拍成黄片结果火了怎么办（搞笑OOC）一发完](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712361) by [Batsy7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batsy7/pseuds/Batsy7). 



A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there were many legends about the Mandalorian. Their Beskar steel, their weapons, their creed. But even with so many stories, the Mandalorians are still a mysterious and rare race. What does it look like under that armor? Recently, there is a porn movie that satisfies everyone's curiosity, and also sexual desire. This well-made "Sexy Mando" hits the galaxy as soon as it is released. The human Mandalorian weared a set of shiny Beskar armor in the movie. At the beginning, he looked extremely powerful and invincible. Yet, only five minutes later, he signed a humiliating agreement just to protect his little green baby. All of the armor was stripped off, leaving only the helmet. The naked body under the armor was young, healthy and beautiful. The poor Mandalorian was fucked by men and women of different races. They tied him up, fucked him, and humiliated him. In the end, the Mandalorian finally admitted that he actually liked it all and spread his legs begging for more... Anyway, the plot is amazing, and the action scene is full of passion and beauty. Once it was released, it was in the top ten of the new republic pornography list. Ranked first for two weeks on all media. Moreover, the production team specially thanked an unnamed Mandalorian at the end, which convinced many audiences that the protagonist in this porn was a real Mandalorian. I am willing to spend a lot of money for this Mandalorian, which is the true thought of many viewers who love this movie.

Usually, Din Djarin would not come to the inner rim. The New Republic is much more powerful here. And He is a person who has been involved in crime before. But all the clues about the Jedi lead him here. He couldn't just give up.

The moment that Mandalorian walked into the tavern with the child in his arms, it suddenly became silent. And everyone seemed to be staring at him. This is strange, but it's not quite uncommon. Mandalorian armor is not often seen. Din speculates that the situation in the inner rim is similar. He sits down in a corner and gently places the child on the stool. The silence of the crowd disappears. But there are still whispers and a few glances.

"Give my little friend a bowl of broth, thank you. Nothing for me."

"I'll pay for this." A Quarren (Squid heads in S2E03) sits across from him. Mandalorian notices that he was one of the people who had been staring at him since he got here. Din puts his hand on the blaster and watches his movement carefully, even though the Quarren looks nervous and seems not to be dangerous at all.

"I can pay by myself." Barely. His money is running out. In fact, he stops here only to find a job. He needs to pay for the repair of his ship and some supplies.

"I know, I'm just..." Quarren stammers. He glances at his friends who are looking at them. Finally, He gets enough courage, "I... I want to buy you."

The Mandalorian glances at him rather indifferently, "My price is high."

"Of course, I could tell. I will pay. Just… tell me the price."

The Mandalorian doesn't like Quarrens. But he does need a job. So he gives a price that is way too high, even for the best bounty hunters.

The Quarren obviously hesitated after hearing this number. Mandalorian was ready to drive him away——

"Deal!" The Quarren clinches his teeth. His gaze scans the Mandalorian's shiny armor again. He couldn't help swallowing obscenely. His tentacles trembles with excitement.

This must be a conspiracy. The Mandalorian swears that he would never be fooled by the same seafood again. "Need to pay a 10% deposit first."

The Quarren paid the deposit without hesitation. His friends make booing noises behind him. They raise their wine, and some even whistle. The Quarren looks back at them embarrassedly.

Are they accomplices? The Mandalorian guesses about this and puts the money away. The hot broth is brought up. The child climbs onto the table impatiently, almost buries his face in the bowl.

"Slow down." The Mandalorian holds the bowl to prevent the child from putting it on his head. He turns to Quarren who seems to be getting more and more excited for no reason. "So, what's the mission?"

OH MY GOD! The Quarren remembers that there was a plot in the porn where the Mandalorian pretended to ask about mission, then pulled off the armor in the next second and shamelessly begged for big dick. This is a perfect reproduction of his sexual dream. He even feels a little bit dizzy. The cock in the pants has been erected. Quarren clears his throat, "I hope you could go out with me and find a place where no one else is around."

So that you and your accomplices could rob my Beskar in an ambush? No way. "I need to go back and get my things." The Mandalorian plans to take the child back to the ship first. A few Quarrens? He could finish with them in minutes.

"Oh, you... you even prepare tools?" Belt, rope, whip, handcuff, vibrator, dildo … Those tools that were used in porn suddenly appears in Quarren’s mind. His voice is shaking. "Wow... This is really, really great." Quarren takes a deep breath, calming his uncontrollable sexual excitement.

The little one finally finishes the soup. He sits on the table satisfactorily and burps. Mandalorian cleans his mouth carefully. "Okay. I'll be back with my things. See you at the entrance later."

"Sure, see you later…"

The Mandalorian took the baby and left.

The Quarren returns to his friends. They laugh and tease him, "You must tell us how Sexy Mando fucks like." The Quarren takes a sip of wine, looking forward to the dream come true. 

In the corner, there are a few unfriendly glances at the Quarren.

The Mandalorian settled the child ("Nap time." "No, you can't follow me." "A macaroon, in exchange, you wait here in the ship, deal?"), took the rifle and returned to the tavern. The Quarren was waiting there already.

"This way." The Quarren led the Mandalorian to leave the tavern. A shadow followed them quietly.

The Quarren guided the Mandalorian towards a remote place, just as the Mandalorian expected. He stopped before they arrived the place that Quarren planned, "What about here?"

"Here?" This is a very narrow path, with some boxes piled up on both sides. The dim yellow lights flash steadily. Almost no one passes here. "But, someone still might see you..."

"I don’t care."

Oh my God, the bold and open Sexy Mando! Just like in the movie! Quarren is getting more and more excited, "Are you sure? Are you...what about your tools?"

The Mandalorian shows him his rifle, "This is it."

"This... isn't this too big?" Quarren couldn’t image how to put this inside…

"I'm used to it."

Things have become beyond imagination, but also unexpectedly hot. The Quarren finally rushes forward impatiently, strokes the shiny Mandalorian helmet with his slimy tentacles. He listens to the sexy breathing sound processed by the helmet closely, "Oh, Mando! You have no idea how much I love you. I am more than just a fan. I am really fall in..."

What the......?! The Mandalorian is bewildered by the fishy smell and inexplicable confession of love. But the fighting reflex is still there. So he kicks the Qurunren away decisively. Then use the rifle to knock him out, ignoring his screams and groans. "I spare your life only for ten percent deposit."

There is a sudden noise behind him. Mandalorian immediately pulls out his blaster. A human standing there. He is a fairly young man, or even a boy. He wears oversized clothes and has messy black hair. 

"Quarrens. They stink, right?" The boy walks towards him, seemingly not afraid of his blaster at all. "You are a human. You shouldn't be devastated by these dirty things."

The Mandalorian is pretty sure that the Quarren is the one who was devastated just now. "Why are you here?"

"I like you!" the boy says loudly. The Mandalorian is not sure if he blushed, "I mean, you are my abecedarian (of sex) ..." The boy's toe draws circles on the ground.

The Mandalorian doesn't know whether to say "thank you" or "I'm really not your teacher, you got the wrong person". But he put down the blaster anyway. "Are you... even an adult?" He asks indefinitely.

"I don't think that is a problem! Father told me that if you really like someone, you should fight for it!"

The Mandalorian has had enough today. He decided to ignore the boy's words and leave directly.

"Wait...wait! At least give me a chance--" The boy failed to catch up with the jetpack. He looked at the figure of the man in the night sky with admiration in his eyes, "Wow, he could even fly..."

This is really a weird night. The Mandalorian leaves the planet immediately and never intends to return. But the weird things did not stop. He receives strange tasks like "buy a night" or "buy a Mandalorian" quite often. Those things usually end badly. There are also many strange confessions of love. Some even ask him to sign on a painting poster of him. Is this the scary world of the inner rim? Are all the Mandalorians in the inner rim treated like this?

A month later, Din finally watched the famous " Sexy Mando" and knew the source of all the weird things. A familiar name on the producer list caught his attention. He decides that the first thing he would do is to repaint his armor.

Then, he would like to meet an old friend. The Mandalorian gnashes his teeth.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not an English native speaker. So if there’s any error on spelling or grammar, please forgive me. Thank you!


End file.
